I realized awhile back that, although I exert a good portion of brain power toward trying to make sense of things, I can never seem to get everything exactly right! It might (fittingly) be attributed to a flaw in me, but seeking logic in everything is usually a wasted effort. I’m not Spock! Please don’t make me think too deep!

SIMPLIFY. That’s my mantra. Some call it the K.I.S.S (Keep It Simple, Stupid!) approach. Whatever! All I know is I’d like to clear up some of the clutter in my life. So, I’ve been reading some get-organized, how-to-clean–up-your-act type of books for inspiration. I can tell you this much already:


Let me be clear; I need more that a brass wind chime hanging by my front door to “bring me clarity”.

Feng Shui says that “having books in view” will increase my insight. Pshaw! I have piles of books all over my house and I find that the more I read, the more I realize just how much I DON’T know! The only insight I’ve gotten so far is, knowing that I’ll never have the time to read them all.

That’s why I don’t bother anymore with the ones that could possibly increase my wisdom. I don’t have enough good years left to attain wisdom. So, I only read pure trash.  For enjoyment.

“Increase my insight”, Ha! I work in a library. I’m surrounded by books and I’m clueless about nearly everything except Vampires and men in kilts. (Because that’s all I read anymore. SEE ABOVE)


Feng Shui tells you to hang a mirror on the wall “adjacent to or behind the stove”.  This is to reflect the burners “which are symbols of wealth and prosperity”.

First of all, who hangs a mirror in the kitchen? Think of all the grease splatters on that thing. Second, I have an electric stove with a glass cooktop. There’s no light coming off the burners.  The only thing I want hanging near my stove is a fire extinguisher!

And for good reason…If I started “meditating” in my kitchen during meal preparation something would surely burst into flame! You have to pay attention to what you are doing when you are cooking.  Or, just being in the kitchen in general!

To me, the true symbol of wealth and prosperity in a kitchen is the blessing of a well-stocked refrigerator and a full pantry.  It means you are able to feed your family.  Your family is the only mirror you need to know if you are doing it right.

So, forget about Feng Shuing (is that a word?) your home. You couldn’t do it anyway unless you lived alone. And, if you live alone, who cares how messy it is?  What about Feng Shui in the work place? Well, unless you work alone, it probably won’t work.

Sure, you can clear off your desk and plop a vase of flowers somewhere, but it’s kind of hard to capture a moment of ZEN between telephone calls.

The method I use to keep things going forward in a positive manner is more akin to the frantic juggling of raw eggs. Sometimes I drop a few and we have to make an omelet.  Maybe I could come up with a clever name for it and market it? I could make millions and become famous! Marie Kondo did this by telling people how to fold their laundry.

I don’t know, though, if I really want to gain immortality through my work. Hmmm…  No, I think I’d rather achieve it through not dying!

Let’s face it, living forever is the ONLY way I’ll ever get everything organized.

I need a Vampire! (Preferably in a kilt.)

Read these and get organized  – available FREE at any Chesapeake Public library:

Feather Your Nest by Cerentha Harris

Seven Layers of Organization by Christopher Lowell

The Smart Approach to an Organized Home by Leslie Plummer Clagett

Unstuff Your Life by Andrew Mellon

The Clutter-busting Handbook by Rita Emmett


Born to read, forced to work.

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3 thoughts on “FENG SHUI? NO WAY!

  1. What a fun blog post—thanks for the valuable organizing information and resources as well as the humorous kilted vampire references. Made me laugh! 🙂

  2. Funny article – I too ~used to be~ a book snob, Now, Fiction is fine w/ me. Re: Vamps & Kilts, have you read the series “Love at Stake” by Kerrelyn Sparks. Between Chesp & Va Bch’s public librys, I was able to complete the 16 (?) book series! Loved it!

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